My Longterm Relationship Ended in My 30s—What Do I Do?


Ask a Witch is StyleCaster’s advice column offering sage advice and practical magic for modern problems. Every Friday, our resident witch Roya Backlund will answer your most vulnerable conundrums through the lens of astrology, Tarot, and spirituality. Submit questions to askawitch@stylecaster.com, along with your birth information—date, time, and location—as well as birth information for other parties involved, if you have it. Hex what vexes you: Ask a Witch.

Dear Roya,

I’ve had a hard past two years. It feels like the life I’ve been building has completely crumbled.

I went to school to pursue nursing (after an engineering degree didn’t feel like a match). But I had a tough time with some of the teachers and students—and that brought me to a very low place—so I decided to leave the program. Picking up the pieces took some time, but I was planning to eventually marry and move abroad for my fiancé.

Then I found out he cheated on me during that tough period in school.

This sent me into a tailspin. I thought he was my rock, my person—the one thing in life I was sure of. Now, I’m stuck in a transitional phase, and I need some advice on rebuilding, especially when it comes to my career path. Am I supposed to go back to school? Work in a certain field? Live abroad? I want to do something I genuinely like and feel passionate about, but I don’t have a clue where to start, and the job hunt has been a blow to my self-worth.

Where do I begin? And how do I begin?

Sincerely,
Aimlessly Ambitious

A witch woman holding a lit candelabra with flickering flames, looking up into the cosmos for astrological answers

Dear Aimlessly Ambitious,

From the moment you’re born, you’re forced to compete in a race that no one ever truly wins. Before you’ve even figured out who you are, you’re given a set of milestones you have to reach before a certain age, and if you fall behind, then your whole trajectory will forever be off. No one feels this pressure more intensely than a woman in the modern world. These days, she’s expected to go to school, have a dazzling career, get married, and have children all by the age of 30. And if she fails to meet that mark, there must be something “off” about her. Was she too ambitious? Was she not ambitious enough? Did she care too much? Did she care too little? Nothing, it appears, is ever enough. Even the supernatural ones who do manage to cross the finish line in time are expected to remain perfect for the remainder of their lives, never allowing the cracks to show.

You’re in your early 30s and you were expected to have it all figured out by now, but you don’t. Now you’re standing at a crossroads, wondering which path to take next, feeling like you’ve already made so many wrong turns. But that’s one big reason I love astrology; it proves you really you can’t miss the right exit—the one you were always supposed to take. When you look at your birth chart—which is a map of your life that traces your beginning to your end—you can find proof you were destined for this meandering road filled with pit stops, bumper-to-bumper traffic, and construction zones. Timing is everything. We’re not all supposed to be at the same place at the same time. And yet, all the misplaced seconds and lost hours add up to position you right where you’re meant to be. Only the most interesting people will have their entire lives blown up by their 30s. It means they had the audacity to want more.

It sounds like you’re just barely surviving the eclipse series we’ve been experiencing on the Aries-Libra axis, which began in early 2023 and comes to a complete stop by March 2025. Eclipses have a way of breaking the bones of your life and forcing you to heal in a different shape. If you were personally victimized by these eclipses, you may be entitled to financial compensation. But seriously, these eclipses also victimized me. I’m right around the same age as you, and over the past two years, my seven-year-long relationship also came to an end. I had to break off our engagement and move out of our apartment. I, too, felt like the life I had been building completely crumbled. Although it was super difficult, I’m already starting to see what that loss is clearing away space for. Some losses are actually gains in disguise. Sometimes, what we rely on most must be torn away from us in order to embrace our ultimate destiny. C’est la vie.

The North Node of Destiny has been moving through Aries since 2023 while the South Node of Karma has been moving through Libra. These are points on the moon’s ecliptic that represent the height of what we’re capable of and the full extent of what we’re still carrying. In astrology, these North Node guides the collective toward what they’re meant to embrace more of, while the South Node shows the collective what they’re meant to let go of. In the end, these two points form a bit of a feedback loop, almost like an endless cycle of change and growth. You really feel the pull of the lunar nodes around eclipse season. And when your birth chart is activated by an eclipse, major changes can permanently alter your life, changing its foundation altogether. (Learn more about why eclipses are so important.)

You were bound to feel the full extent of these eclipses, as your birth chart is saturated with intense cardinal sign energy (that is, the energy of Aries, Cancer, Libra, and Capricorn). You were born with your sun sign and ascendant in Capricorn—making you a go-getter, a planner, and an authoritative presence. You also have your natal moon in Cancer—where the celestial body of domesticity, nurturing, and emotional well-being feels most at home—sitting right on your descendant, a.k.a. your seventh house of partnerships. This makes you someone who loves to provide for others and feel cared for in return. However, your moon is also sitting in conjunction with warrior Mars, upping the ante in your relationships, marking them with passion, volatility, but also power. Because these points are also sitting in a chaotic T-square with your natal Jupiter in Libra in your 10th house of career, reputation, and legacy, you could say your personal relationships are heavily intertwined with your status in the public realm. When these eclipses began to unfold, they activated this T-square by removing what was standing in the way of you being able to reach your ultimate destination. Clearly, your longterm relationship and career were not it. And that’s OK.

For last two years, the North Node in Libra has been pulling you toward your fourth house of home and family, forcing you to reconnect with your heart and reestablish a feeling of safety and belonging. During this time, the South Node of Karma has been shedding what you’ve already outgrown in your 10th house of career, allowing you to let go of goals that are no longer in alignment with your destiny. Rest assured, your decisions in life and at work have led you here for a reason. But first, you needed to understand what it means to completely let go. Not everything is meant to work out, and understanding that will make everything so much easier from here on out. (Learn more about the 12 houses of astrology.)

Life has been complicated and filled with endless transitions, but all of it has been important. What you’ve been doing can be likened to the pulling back of the quiver before the arrow finally shoots. When the North Node of Destiny enters Pisces as of January 11, 2025, it will bring a period of dreamy recovery, artistic vision, and of course, love. It will reveal new faces in your life that will aid you along your journey, perhaps even becoming the cornerstone of your focus. The North Node of Destiny will shine a light on your third house of communication, learning, neighborhood connections, and close friends, as well as siblings. No, I do not think you’re going to move abroad, but lay down even deeper roots wherever you are now.

You’re meant to take the next two years and reserve it for learning, exploring, and being curious. You’re supposed to make new friends, increase the communications in your life, and discover new interests. The North Node in Pisces will bring you all the knowledge and information you need in order to understand what type of career you want. In the meantime, give yourself permission to try new things, experiment, and avoid committing to the first thing that pops up. This is the time to be a free agent, giving yourself a taste of several different things before you make an informed decision about your future.

As the North Node forms a trine with your sun-Mars conjunction in Cancer over the course of the next two years, as well as a conjunction with your Venus in Pisces, it’s clear you may be building up to a highly significant relationship in your life. A date to keep in mind is August 28, 2026, when a lunar eclipse in Pisces will land at 5 degrees, right on top of your natal Venus. Because Venus is already considered to be “exalted” when moving through Pisces, I would say you’re in for an incredibly magical romantic adventure with someone, but also yourself. You’re about to rediscover how sweet and otherworldly life can be, a fact that will only be emphasized when compared to the darkness you had to experience while the North Node was in Aries. Remember—some things have to fall apart so that better things can come together.

Good energy is brewing right now, Aimless. Pretty soon, you’ll be right on target.

Dreamily,
Roya

About Roya

Roya Backlund is StyleCaster’s Senior Lifestyle & Astrology Editor and a professional witch. Born in Los Angeles on May 26—the same day as Stevie Nicks—she’s been obsessed with the zodiac since she discovered she was a Gemini as a child. Her interest in mysteries and the occult began in the metaphysical section at her local Borders. If you’re a fan of astrology, spirituality, and witchcraft, you’ve probably read her horoscopes and lifestyle articles, which have appeared elsewhere in Elite Daily, PopSugar, Astrology.com, and more. Whether you want to delve deeper into your birth chart or interpret signs from your spirit guides, Roya’s got you covered.

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